How to Heal Emotional Divorce Scars
Emotional scars from a divorce can last a lifetime. They can remain very deep or just superficial. A lot of that has everything to do with what we, as individuals, do to make them heal.
Notice I said MAKE them heal. Yes, I’ve heard the tired old phrase “time heals all wound”. Guess what? I don’t want to wait that long! I’ve been through two divorces, so I’ve learned a couple of things. For instance:
- I went on pre-arranged practice dates. I loved it because there was no pressure on either of us to ‘perform’ or be ‘mistake-free’.
- I stayed in the home, so I took what furniture was left and rearranged it. It didn’t matter if I put it in the wrong spot or not.
- I used to get dressed up, go the bar or restaurant, and leave; on purpose.
- Stopped watching any TV show having to do with couples fighting or getting divorced.
- Stopped reading the front page of the newspaper. It’s all about who killed who; what war is trying to break out in whatever country; political problems; etc. Too depressing.
- #1. This is the one thing I started doing that nursed me back to mental health better than anything. At night, whenever I would have a bit of consciousness and the dreaded ‘thoughts and memories’ started flooding in, I started getting out of bed. I might be up for a few minutes or a few hours. All know is that it stopped the endless torture of lying in bed and thinking.